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#21 [url]

Jul 25 05 5:13 PM

QUOTE
And why did no one think of poor Snape? He finally comes out of the closet with his crush on Prof. Trelawney. Rumor has it that at their wedding, they'll serve roast centaur ...


*insert string of muttered curses* How could I forget?! And, of course, it'll be marinated in that sherry Trelawney's so fond of.


QUOTE
And who are we to forget the secret lovelife of Neville Longbottom and his beautiful fiancee Dolores U.?


Oh gag! Be merciful to poor Neville! Pair that awful woman up with something more fitting...like a Blast-Ended Skrewt.

You know, we've also forgotten poor, unfortunate Voldemort, who'll be announcing his engagement to Madam Pomfrey any day now.

Why so serious? - the Joker

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#23 [url]

Jul 26 05 1:30 AM


QUOTE
You know, we've also forgotten poor, unfortunate Voldemort, who'll be announcing his engagement to Madam Pomfrey any day now.


No, no, no! it's Voldemort and Rita Skeeter! Didn't you know?! *exhasperated sigh* They have a lovely wedding in the Chamber of Secrets where which Winky, Dobby,and Kreacher dess in pink tutus throwing rose pedals in the air and the Death Eaters sing a loud, high pitched chorus of "All Things Bright and Beautiful" and then they roast Nagini and eat her marinated in butebur pus. Then they get drunk on firewhiskey and fly away together on Hary's firebolt, snogging ech other sensless.


"Headless is the new black!"
- Fashion advice by Robespierre

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#24 [url]

Jul 26 05 2:07 AM

QUOTE (Hobbitlass @ Jul 26 2005, 01:30 AM)
Then they get drunk on firewhiskey and fly away together on Hary's firebolt, snogging ech other sensless.


Um, that's just a bit too much information, there, Hobbitlass....

Actually, it's Grawp and Rita. They'll be holding their wedding in the Forbidden Forest were Hagrid will perform the ceremony and they'll be sacrificing Umbridge to the centaur herd to allow guests passage into the forest.

And, of course, there's Bellatrix and Mad-Eye Moody, who've had a love-hate relationship for the past seventeen years now... Let's hope her husband doesn't get too angry when he finds out she's been cheating on him.

Why so serious? - the Joker

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#25 [url]

Jul 26 05 2:21 AM

Oh, of course! And then there's the Bloody Baron and Parvati Patil, who admits her secret crush on the ghost for the past five years.

And we can never forget Firenze, who runs off with Millicent Bullstrode.

"Headless is the new black!"
- Fashion advice by Robespierre

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#26 [url]

Jul 26 05 2:26 AM

But that's only after Harry admits his secret long-time passion for Pansy Parkinson during Herbology. Professor Sprout will, of course, be giving them detention for public displays of affection in Greenhouse 3, which caused the Venemous Tantaga (or whatever it was) to become ill and infest all the mistletoe at Hogwarts with nargles.

Why so serious? - the Joker

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#27 [url]

Jul 26 05 3:04 AM

At which point Gilderoy Lockhart, who just got his memory back, in attempt to exterminate the lot, puts Cho Chang under a spell in which she is convinced she is a toaster until a runaway nargle lodges itself up her nose and she confesses her love for Lockhart, and the two announce their engagement at the Haloween feast where they pop out of matching pumpkins.
The Fat Lady, meanwhile, plans her wedding to Sir. Cadagon, who, as he was unable to carry her away on his little pony, has to ride with her on a picture of a Hungarian Horntail on the third floor.

"Headless is the new black!"
- Fashion advice by Robespierre

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#28 [url]

Jul 26 05 7:57 AM

Of course there is enough Voldemort for three or more weddings, so after planting twins in Prof. Sprout, he proposes to Prof. McGonagall and Mme. Hooch for a threesome wedding. After being put under the Imperius curse, the two women agree but run off to the Hebrides when the curse wears off shortly before the wedding. This leaves Voldie depressed and sad. He is since then often spotted at a small table at the back of the Hog's Head, drunk on Butterbeer, muttering "I love plaid and those Hawk's eyes would've matched my snake ones ..." fictionfactor/bye2.gif

And in the end something obvious: Gilderoy Lockhart announces his engagement to...


three guesses...


Yes!!!


GILDEROY LOCKHART!!!

That was easy.

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#29 [url]

Jul 27 05 7:02 PM

You children play a sick little game. if your going to tell anyone
anything tell us and get it over with. besides I know what
your thinking. I see all I know all.



..........................Don't..listen..................He......wan'ts........................
.your..............................soul......................he's comeing.....................
................................in the darkness.................................find................he will..........................................................................................................
..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH................................................................................................................................................................................................................


this is why i HATE comeing to earth and taking over someones soul. they only get in your way.


-ANTHONY>

In the darkness, I am seen,
In the light, I am lost,
with in you I rest,
waiting, waiting, ever waiting,
I am your fears,
I am your hope,
but should you fail,
Even i will not be found.

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#30 [url]

Aug 1 05 1:03 PM

Anthony,

you ask us noit to mess with your minds, while you and your little dots take the whole site apart? Good one.

BTW, the one dying in Half Blood Prince is of course Harry Potter - only to return in HP 7 ("Harry Potter and the Return of the Boy Who Lived")

-Doc

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#31 [url]

Aug 1 05 1:48 PM

QUOTE
BTW, the one dying in Half Blood Prince is of course Harry Potter - only to return in HP 7 ("Harry Potter and the Return of the Boy Who Lived")


Don't be rediculous, that's impossible since Harry already died in HP 5 (order of the Phoenix). He is brought back to life at the end of the Half Blood prince because he is the only one who can fight Voldemort (see prophecy at the end of HP 5). And then in book 7 the whole wizzarding community will rally to Harries call to arms, defeat Voldemort and install Harry as supreme ruler.

O, and Harry marries Snape of course. After all, they have a very strong love hate relationship.

Rod

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#32 [url]

Aug 1 05 3:09 PM

OK, here is ...

THE TRUE TRUTH ABOUT HARRY

Harry Potter is not Harry Potter. rod was on the right track, but he did not go far enough. Harry Potter is dead. He died in the beginning of book 1. That bloke running around with that scar is NOT Harry Potter but an impostor, a garden gnome by the name of Brywryn Vorkax, third supreme ruler of a pumkin patch in the backyard of Number 16 Pritchett Lane, West Wonkerton.

In Part Seven (Harry Potter and the Secret of the Garden Gnome), Brywryn is unmasked by no other than Snape and his adopted lovechild Draco (after Lucius died in Azkaban, choked on a Dementor he tried to have for breakfast). Snape suspected this from the beginning and thus hated that "Potter" so much.

When Voldi killed the Potters some 10/11/12/... years ago, he killed Harry, too. The blast of the curse unsettled the Potter's house in Godric's Hollow house and it collapsed on top of Voldi and his prey. Due to measures Voldi had taken in the past, he was unable to properly die, though. He fled.

Enter Brywryn Vorkax, who had just visited his auntie in Godric's Hollow, living next door in a tomato plant's pot. Drunk as he was, after a few rounds in the local pub with his uncle Uq'uurth, he ended up in the wrong house, attracted by the funny green lights. The building collapsed onto Brywryn's head, cutting that stupid scar and leaving the gnome with a severe amnesia. In the following years, he was brought up under the impression to be Harry Potter. Nurtured with all that stuff the Weasleys send over every year and that ruddy tea at Hagrid's (do I have to say more) he grew to be much bigger than his co-gnomes. Of course, when Voldi was back and able to read the papers, he found that Harry was (seemingly) still alive. Thus the whole crap started.

This leaves just one question. Why is the fake Potter-boy said to be looking just like his father? Stay tuned for more details on ...

THE TRUE TRUTH ABOUT BRYWRYN

-Doq

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#33 [url]

Aug 1 05 6:13 PM

AH I see it now. you wish to tell us lies. So that by the time the truth is reviled, no could tell the lie appart from the truth. but you miscaulated, you did not see all sides of the grand picture. Just as 2 plus 2 dosen't always equal 4, neather does your lies. because even as we speak Lord V...is readying his secret weapon. the one that will bring world to it vary knees. then all peter has to do. is simple excution, to clime his way to power. good night lord V. Peter Will secced you and Claim your empire as his.



.......eh wh...t.......har....y?

what about harry?

.........he is...........................

I don't care who he is.

......Is....h.....dea......?

Shure we don't need the shirmp anyway.

In the darkness, I am seen,
In the light, I am lost,
with in you I rest,
waiting, waiting, ever waiting,
I am your fears,
I am your hope,
but should you fail,
Even i will not be found.

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#38 [url]

Aug 2 05 4:31 PM

QUOTE
Writers are NOT funny!


Is that funny ha-ha? Or funny as in sick-inna-head?

QUOTE
And who gave you the impression I was one?



You. Cause you sick-inna-head.

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