#1 [url]

Aug 1 05 3:09 PM

OK, here is ...

THE TRUE TRUTH ABOUT HARRY

Harry Potter is not Harry Potter. rod was on the right track, but he did not go far enough. Harry Potter is dead. He died in the beginning of book 1. That bloke running around with that scar is NOT Harry Potter but an impostor, a garden gnome by the name of Brywryn Vorkax, third supreme ruler of a pumkin patch in the backyard of Number 16 Pritchett Lane, West Wonkerton.

In Part Seven (Harry Potter and the Secret of the Garden Gnome), Brywryn is unmasked by no other than Snape and his adopted lovechild Draco (after Lucius died in Azkaban, choked on a Dementor he tried to have for breakfast). Snape suspected this from the beginning and thus hated that "Potter" so much.

When Voldi killed the Potters some 10/11/12/... years ago, he killed Harry, too. The blast of the curse unsettled the Potter's house in Godric's Hollow house and it collapsed on top of Voldi and his prey. Due to measures Voldi had taken in the past, he was unable to properly die, though. He fled.

Enter Brywryn Vorkax, who had just visited his auntie in Godric's Hollow, living next door in a tomato plant's pot. Drunk as he was, after a few rounds in the local pub with his uncle Uq'uurth, he ended up in the wrong house, attracted by the funny green lights. The building collapsed onto Brywryn's head, cutting that stupid scar and leaving the gnome with a severe amnesia. In the following years, he was brought up under the impression to be Harry Potter. Nurtured with all that stuff the Weasleys send over every year and that ruddy tea at Hagrid's (do I have to say more) he grew to be much bigger than his co-gnomes. Of course, when Voldi was back and able to read the papers, he found that Harry was (seemingly) still alive. Thus the whole crap started.

This leaves just one question. Why is the fake Potter-boy said to be looking just like his father? Stay tuned for more details on ...

THE TRUE TRUTH ABOUT BRYWRYN

-Doq